Have Faith In Love
Loving yourself is an entire path to self-discovery, all by itself. This is a critical thing to grasp. Without it, the voices in your head will echo what parents, lovers, bosses, bullies, or society said about you. START WITH BELIEVING YOU ARE WORTHY. Just take it on faith, and then gather the tools to remove the doubt and strengthen the confidence.
Start by SAYING it to yourself in the mirror: "I love myself" or "I am worthy" or "I deserve love, and REFUSE to let anyone treat me as less than a divine spark" or whatever phrase would be in alignment with your most healed and healthy, radiant self.
Do this, and look for the "static"--the emotional discomfort. The voices. WHAT STOPS YOU FROM ACCEPTING AND RELISHING YOUR BEAUTY AND POWER, the absolutely lovable child within you? You will need to interrogate every voice, every emotional association. START WITH LOVE. We've just been talking about how, if you want to lose weight, you HAVE to start with the understanding that no body can disobey the laws of physics. Start with that, and then try to figure where the nutrition, physiology, psychology or social triggers are frustrating your efforts. No matter what, stick to the physics.
The same is true here. ANYTHING that stands between you and loving yourself is an illusion. If you can start THERE rather than believing someone "out there" gets to decide if you are lovable, you have taken an important step. That faith, that clarity, if maintained and committed to, will help you survive any emotional storm. Children need to know their parents love them, have faith in them, like roses need rain.
YOUR "INNER CHILD" IS THE SAME. She needs to know mommy or daddy ADORE her. Start there, and the child will accept discipline, as long as it is sandwiched with hugs and smiles and praise.
THIS IS WHERE YOU HAVE TO START. And one external measurement of loving yourself IS the ability to accept a healthy discipline. Parents drag their butts out of bed every damned morning to take care of their kids. When you can stop and breathe once an hour, when you can perform a 10-20 minute Morning Ritual, these are ACTS OF LOVE. You are loving yourself.
And trust me…your "pale self", your "death drive", your negative internal voices WILL push back. If you can simply journal out your patterns, you'll start glimpsing the power of the Pale Side, the part that says "you are unworthy. You can't. Shouldn't. Mustn't. Who the @#$ do you think you are?"
When you make the right connection, you will have access to motivation unknown to most people. And in fact, you can use this motivation to measure the work that still needs to be done.
COMMIT to loving yourself just 1% more every week, and measure it in how you care for your body, your heart, and your career. Just COMMIT, and figure out "how" later.
Rememeber: first WHAT. Then WHY. And only then HOW. Do this. When you wake up every day, ask yourself "what could I do today to love myself a little more? How can I fulfill my daily tasks AND HAVE FUN IN THE PROCESS."
Ask better questions. Start with the better goal and perspective. The rest is details.
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Join us tomorrow for a deeper dive!
Steven Barnes is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: Firedance
Time: saturday Oct 7, 2023 12:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)
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