Yin-Yang Balance
"Take a deep breath. Let out all the stress. You deserve to be okay. "– Author Unknown
You DESERVE to be ok. Deserve to be pulled by love, rather than driven by fear. You KNOW this about your children, or children that you love. The same is true of the child you were.
We are now 9 days into the "90-Day Love Feast", which runs until the end of the year. Join us! The WHAT is to increase self-love and care by at least 1% per week. The WHY is to transform every aspect of our lives for MASSIVE joy and energy, health and growth. The HOW are the various techniques and perspectives we'll be offering every day.
Be sure to start with:
60 seconds of diaphragmatic breathing every hour.
10-20 minutes of movement, affirmation and visualization every day.
Focusing every day on improving 1% in all three centers: body, heart, mind.
Just the focus, just doing these three things will dynamite your log jams. Just come with us until Jan 1st and see for yourself.
###
We've already covered the value of mentally separating the "child" and "adult" selves.
Well…the same is true of the "male" and "female" aspects, the "mom" and the "dad" of it all.
And here I can promise we'll run into another thorny area. The truth is that there is a TON of confusion and political jostling about these things. Let's not wade into that stuff, shall we?
What I have to do is say tha the "Yang" and "Yin" of humanity can be divided into "male" and "female" aspects, with the clear warning that real human beings are combinations of these things. Call it 51%-49% as a simple target. Up to about 55%-45%, beyond which we risk being out of balance.
You are welcome to divide up these characteristics the way you wish, but there are some pairings that might be a starting place. If you find that either male or female polarities have more "positive" or "negative" aspects for you, you might ask if those energies were absent in your family. Or imbalanced, or toxic. Whatever they were MIGHT reflect itself in your current feelings about your own balance.
You might ask yourself what YOU consider a healthy balance?
What characteristics to YOU give the Yang and Yin of it?
If you did not have a healthy male energy in your life, you will have certain needs, hungers and imbalances.
If you did not have a healthy female energy in your life, you will have other needs, hungers, and imbalances.
This discussion cuts deep, and has been so twisted around and politicized that it is difficult to address it without triggering someone.
But here's what I will say: you need to have YOUR view of what a healthy balance WITHIN and BETWEEN human beings might be.
What is a healthy balance within a man? A woman? A couple?
If you can define what you believe this is, you have a goal, a "What". Because what you want is to create a healthy "internal household" for that child within you.
So answer some questions, just so that we can begin to create a PERFECT nurturing "home" for the "child" within you.
What would the PERFECT balance of nurturing and protective, healer and warrior, active and receptive, dreaming and doing be?
In your heart of hearts, what balance of HEALTHY male and female energy would have been PERFECT for you growing up? What did you lack?
What actions and attitudes in your life are a reaction to the imbalances you felt in your home?
Here's a way of looking at it that might be useful:
If you didn't feel SAFE there was an imbalance of "male energy."
If you didn't feel LOVED there was an imbalance of "female energy."
Again, feel free to distribute these characteristics as you wish. There is only one caution: if you make a list of human characteristics associated with each polarity, and you have more NEGATIVES than POSITIVES associated with one than the other (lots of positives for the feminine, for instance, with mostly negatives for the masculine)
It is an indication that you had an imbalance in your "nest."
What you are seeking to do is to create balance in your "internal nest" your "inner home" where you nurture your "child" self.
Protective-Nurturing. Accepting-Urging.
However you divide up human characteristics, look at this. The child within you is ONLY safe and loved if these energies are healthfully balanced, and trust me: either energy can become "toxic" as well. FEEL WHAT YOUR PERFECT INNER HOME WOULD BE.
And look at that balance within yourself. YOU are your "child's" Mommy or Daddy now. If you are in a committed, healthy, balanced relationship it might be possible for your partner to fill in some of that. But at the core, YOU ARE NOW BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER of that child. When you visualize and conceptualize that "child" self, your attention should be on the child, and your energy BALANCED.
Both protective and nurturing. Both totally accepting "as is" but also encouraging to try again, do more, grow stronger.
To the degree that you can represent both energies, your "child" self has the complete "internal family" she needs, HE needs, to thrive and grow.
One of the fastest ways to check into this is to look at that balance: between child and adult, and between male and female. In your meditations, consider both of these, all four aspects of your nature, and see what the center point would be. Where are you imbalanced? Adult or Child? Female or Male? Do you need more love in your life? More courage and discipline? To do more work? To get more rest and play?
What is the center point? THAT is the healthiest position for a "child" self. If you can visualize that child, TALK TO HER. Talk to him. Ask him what you need do to create the healthiest most loving home.
All any human being wants is to feel safe and loved. Lack of this creates massive dysfunction, up to and including self-destruction and horrid violence. The person who really feels safe and loved has never been a problem to you or others. This work is not just personal, but social: healthy people can and do inspire others to heal and grow.
Between adult and child…female and male energies…what was healthy in your home? What was unhealthy? What is healthy in your life? Where are you co-dependent or limping?
Your child, your heart, deserve the very best. Let's get going.
Namaste
Steve
