ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE

Looking at the challenge of the "90 Day Love Diet" I ask myself a bunch of questions. After all, no matter how "hard" it might be, if I have sufficient clarity on WHY to do it, the "HOW" becomes easy.

This would be ninety days of doing all in my power to give nothing but love and support, to make Tananarive's needs more important than my own. The trick is that I'm not capable of doing that…for her.

I know myself enough to know I HAVE to anchor this in my own being. So a few thoughts on how it helps ME.

1) It is very hard FOR A HEALTHY PERSON not to respond with love to anyone who gives it without asking anything in return. So I can expect a flood of love in return.
2) To do this, I' have to make deeper contact with the part of me that DOES love for love's sake. For this part to feel safe opening, I have to have all my self-protection at the level of "unconscious competence." And more deeply than I ever have.
3) That means that I'm practicing how to love and care for MYSELF more, simply by taking my attention OFF myself and onto a trusted heart.
4) If I were "testing" my relationship with her, uncertain, it would STILL be good for me, because the worst case scenario is that I learned that my partner could not give. But I can, and trust me, there are plenty of people looking for such a person--IF THEY LOVE THEMSELVES, AND ARE HANDLING THEIR OWN SECURITY. They can't be denying the work they need to do and expect someone else to be their spiritual strength or nurturance. My instincts, emotions, and intuition will be aligned at a far higher level.
5) This will lead to greater aliveness and creativity, a deeper ability to embrace life in all its wildness.
6) Will this help others? CORE TRANSFORMATION (NLP Comprehensive in Colorado, the brainchild of Connirae Andreas) suggests that all ANYONE is ever seeking in life is that feeling of deep love and connection. That you can take anyone, no matter how vile their behavior, and find its roots are this urge to connect with the Divine, or that sense of peace and fulfillment experienced in the womb. Paradise Lost. Connect the worst monster with this, show them how to make contact with it within themselves, and you change their external behavior FOREVER. Actually choreograph an epiphany. I don't know if this is "true" but I've tested it experimentally, as well as observed the power of love and fear (what remains when faith and gratitude are stunted) in the lives of millions of people throughout history, on individual and group levels. IT MAKES SENSE. I've yet to find a situation in which this was not a valuable insight. ANGER IS A MASK OVER FEAR. And the core fear is that we are unlovable. Coming in contact with someone who offers love without asking anything in return is a total revelation. Life-changing. So if I could touch a deeper level of this…might I be a greater force for change in the world?
7) "I don't care about who you sleep with. Just don't shove it down my throat" (sic). "I don't care about race. YOU'RE the racist if you talk about racism" are such illogical formulations, and so commonly said, that I have to ask what it means if they are being honest, to the best of their ability. One explanation would be that they do not love themselves enough to look at their own damage, the paleness in their hearts, say "yes, I have this aversion. Let me interrogate this more deeply." Fear that if you look deeply within yourself, you will find something ugly. Or, feel that if you found negative beliefs, if you made yourself vulnerable and admitted it you will lose something. Be at greater risk. Again, starting with loving yourself enough to know you can and will protect yourself, and then extending your being to others, would cure all of the racism, sexism, homophobia and xenophobia men and women experience in the world. We project our unowned self onto the Other.
8) What about the damage done by these toxic filters? The oppressed get DAMAGED. Its easily visible in demographic statistics for things like life span, infant mortality, incarceration rates and inherited wealth.. Its right there. And that isn't just about bigots acting directly. Its also about the internalized multigenerational damage. When someone hits you countless times with the notion that you are not precious, not beautiful, not powerful, that your heart is not as sacred as the stars…YOU CARRY THAT DAMAGE WITH YOU. It affects your health, happiness, believe that you can succeed, ability to love and be loved. Its awful. And the answer is self-love. And self love CAN be sparked by the love and acceptance of others. Just yesterday, I saw a post about suicides about to jump from Golden Gate Bridge. That those who didn't jump often made that life-saving decision because ONE STRANGER smiled at them. Think about that.


I could go on. And I want to explore this ALL THIS SUMMER. A summer of love. The "Ninety Day Love Diet". I'll start officially on July 1st, until October 1st. And we'll talk about this, and how it can impact EVERY level of our lives and world, and ask you to join me. Can YOU get 1% better at giving YOURSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU more love every week? I believe you can. And if you think this would make a better life and a better world…

Join us.

Namaste
Steve

FIREDANCE: THE NEXT LEVEL.

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