Is Your Success “Walking The Dog”, or “Playing With The Cat”?
That thought came to me this morning, and thinking that I'd had the thought before. People think success should be like a dog that follows you and comes when it is called. Greets you eagerly when you come home, as if he hasn't seen you for a year.
As opposed to a cat, who might or might not come, has her own schedule, and is most likely to appear when you are trying to concentrate on something else. Sit in your lap, or on your keyboard, when you are burning with inspiration.
Gee…almost as if attracted by FOCUS AND JOY DIRECTED AT SOMETHING ELSE.
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Director Jordan Peele and my wife Tananarive have a secret: they build their fictional constructs atop personal issues. I am working HARD to learn this better, specifically how to do it without creating "message" fiction. Examples: Her "My Soul To Keep" arose from her desire to find a soul mate, and discontent with the men she was letting into her life. She wasn't trusting her own judgement. And that book, about a woman who discovers her husband is an African Immortal, is hugely entertaining, honest, and successful, echoing the concerns of millions of women--and people--worldwide.
Now lets look at Peele’s "Get Out"--fear that he cannot trust the very people who say they love him, and are allies.
Look at "Us"--the guilt and fear of succeeding to the level that you leave your old "tribe" behind. What happens to the underclass? Are their grievances legitimate?
Now…look at "Nope".
SPOILER
All art is open to interpretation, so I'm not going to be dogmatic about this, but I'll stake a position: that Jordan's movie is about his personal fear of being consumed by Hollywood. He KNOWS that other people put their own interests first. That's just animal nature. But a corporation, made up of disparate individuals, cares no more for those individuals than your body cares for individual cells, which it happily sloughs off and discards every day.
A company will encourage YOU to consider it family, but happily "downsize" whenever necessary. Families don't kick out the youngest children when times get tough, you know? But there is a bigger issue, and that is one hinted at in Yogic psychology.
There is an entire realm of mental/spiritual results from meditation, referred to as "siddhis". "Powers" in essence, the result of the laser focus of body, mind and spirit in a specific balance. Things such as abnormal charisma, sexual attraction, influence, and so forth are obvious. But it rises into money and power, and even psychic abilities such as precognition. One can believe as much of that as your cosmology allows.
But as an instance, look at the number of Gurus who have been caught in the "sex trap." They arise from a tradition that encourages strict control of sexuality, even denial. The asceticism leads to breakthroughs in "spirital truth" and deep centeredness. Tapping into a higher or deeper power. This power is HUGELY attractive, and these "saints" who have denied themselves sexual expression find themselves surrounded by very attractive people. And what is true is that there is an exchange of sex and power in the world: powerful people use that power to get sex. Sexy people use their sexuality to get power.
If you don't see both sides of this, and how it can be problematic both ways, you're missing the game.
Anyway…many of them cannot resist the temptaions, fall into the flesh garden. This of course takes them off the very path of asceticism that gave them the charisma in the first place. Especially if they are lying or concealing or rationalizing their actions, they find themselves attracting less and less energetic people, until they have nothing at all.
Let's look at writers and artists. Say I am a writer who insists on speaking my individual artistic truth. I labor in obscurity, barely getting by. Then, finally, after years, I write a best-seller. Fans, Agents, critics, and publishers laud me, offering me all the love, money, and comfort I've craved but sublimated to the artistic drive. Everyone says "do another book like THIS!"
And if that is your natural flow, then fine! But if you have to step sideways or back to "step in the same river twice"…you are compromising the precise values that created the bestseller in the first place! You begin to repeat yourself, trying to get that "lightning in a bottle" again…and maybe you do, for a while. But eventually you either stop being able to find it, or grow tired of it, and then tired of the AUDIENCE that craves it.
But you are afraid to go back, because you've become used to the wealth and fame. And sometimes, when you finally get sick of it and try to go back to what you were doing years before the fame and wealth…you've lost it. Harlan Ellison quoted writer Charles Beaumont saying: "Attaining success in Hollywood is like climbing a gigantic mountain of cow flop, in order to pluck one perfect rose from the summit. And you find when you’ve made that hideous climb … you’ve lost the sense of smell."
Now. Just for a moment think about a couple of observations and see if you can connect them:
"A watched pot never boils"
"When you don't have a job, you can't get a job. Until you've got one, then everyone offers you jobs."
Or this line from BROADCAST NEWS: "Wouldn't it be great if `needy' were a turn-on?"
All of these are circling a theory: that there are goals in life that cannot be approached directly.
The Dalai Lama said that the meaning of life is "joy and service" and yet there are very smart people who suggest that "happiness" is not a goal to approach directly. You are "happy" taking a hit of crack…for a little while. Then the pendulum swings the other way, and the crash can crush.
Dogs come when you call. Cats come when you are focused happily on something else.
Success in life is some combination of these two. You have to look at the people who have succeeded at your chosen goal, and ask: what of their work, their "chop wood, carry water" was direct, and what was indirect?
DIRECT work is pushing 20 hours a day.
INDIRECT work is pushing eight hours, then mastering stress so that you can sleep deeply and recover, and spend good time with your loved ones to "recreate" your spirit. Over time, BALANCE outperforms "working yourself to death" if your goals are "joy and service."
Back to "Nope."
SPOILER
Viewed as a metaphor, the alien is Hollywood, a monster that eats dreams and shits money. Boom. If you look directly at it, chasing money, IT WILL EAT YOU. What CAN you do? Find the WORK that makes you better and better, developing the skills and team to promote and protect the "child" part of your that just wants to yell "let's put on a show!" and would do it for free. EVERYONE would love to spend all their time doing the thing they love. And if you don't develop the "adult" self to protect and guide, you will attract predators who KNOW you would give that art away, as you did to your family…because they loved and provided and protected.
They, in other words, will push the "family' button while actually remaining in the "machine" or "predator" position. Try getting that studio executive who "loved" you so much, who were such "big fans" to return your call once they are done with you.
The most frequent answer? To either partner with a shark (a manager or agent) OR BE A SHARK YOURSELF. (My answer, by the way, is to be part of a healthy pod of dolphins. Dolphins can protect themselves from sharks.).
The machine or predator structures will eat you if you don't protect yourself. Or if you chase after them. So you need to find a PATH to mastery which your careful analysis suggests will take you to your goal. In writing, that might be dividing yourself into two parts:
Being the best writer you can be.
Create, protect, and nurture your "pod" of co-dolphins, or your "friendly sharks." Or some other metaphor for the skills and attitudes that demand and protect money, that market and sell the art.
What is that in, say the Lifewriting Premium program?
Write a sentence a day. That's constant work production, and uinderstanding the emotional and strategic skills/tools you need to do this.
Write 1-4 short stories a month. This is the smallest complete unit of writing. Everything you do in a novel you're doing in a short story. Same with short scripts and features.
Polish, Finish and submit. Now you are working with the EMOTIONS, the fear of rejection. How to protect your heart from the pain. But also you are doing market research, engaging with the "adult" world if the "child" world is defined as that which PRODUCES the work. Play.
Don't rewrite except to editorial request. "Perfectionism is procrastination masquerading as quality control." If you can write every day, write 1-4 short stories a month, submit them and move on to your next story, you have constructed a 'machine" or a "garden" (shoose your own metaphor) and all you have to do is water, fertilize and prune and pick fruit. You will learn more by moving on to your next story than going back to an old one. UNLESS AN EDITOR MAKES A SPECIFIC REQUEST. Each story is like putting out a fishing line. You got a nibble! The beautiful thing about short stories is that you DON'T need an agent to sell one…but the editors who buy them know the agents! You are moving into position to find someone who has a financial interest in helping you. A potential "friendly shark" or "pod of dolphins."
Read 10X as much as you write. You have to be in the flow of life. Masters study, practice, and teach. ALL THREE most often, at the highest levels. You need to LEARN and NEVER STOP LEARNING. You also need to work, to "do." And…sure, teach! Lecture. Give away what you've learned the moment you've mastered it. Get that knowledge into "unconscious competence" by simplifying it to the point you can explain it to a child.
Repeat this process 100 X. Do this, and you are simply committing to the path. You have the intelligence to solve the problem of "how" but understand that result will come when they come…all you can do is increase the odds. Keep your eyes on the work. At the beginning and end of every day, week, month, and year look at the big picture. But the majority of your time is just "chop wood, carry water." Do the work. And once you are on the right path, your capacity for success will relate to how hard and consistently you take these steps, or other steps you discover by studying successful people who live with joy and service.
Doing the work is "walking the dog." Reaping the benefits is "playing with the cat."
Whew. Its HARD to convey something that can't quite be put into words, but everything we're doing in Lifewriting is an attempt to do just that, by describing paths of Relationship, Physical mastery, and Writing success. If you cannot extract the basic lessons and apply them to your own life, I'm missing my mark. Let me know, and we'll back up and try again.
Write with Passion!
Steve
