DAY 10: 90-DAY LOVE FEAST
DAY 10: 90-DAY LOVE FEAST
The "Love Feast" is simply a commitment to putting Tananarive's needs first until September 1. Five times a day, reminding myself how much I adore her, and doing all I can to make her feel more loved, more precious, more supported than ever before. I found it in "Strategic Intervention Technology", part of the Robbins-Madanes coaching stuff. And after we complete it, we'll see about integrating it into the overall SOULMATE PROCESS. Still in process!
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How much of a difference can love make in your life? Core Transformation suggests that all human behavior is related to a desire to return to the safety, security and love of the womb, or our connection to the Divine. Choose either, or both, it’s the same thing.
While fear and pain are more IMMEDIATE and URGENT motivators, they such long-term. Running from what you fear, driving yourself with anger, burns you out and leaves you hollow. It also leads to the "rebound" effect you see in dieting: you awaken to the fact that your habits are toxic, and swear you'll change. And with great effort you force yourself to diet (pain) and exercise (more pain) and it works…until you reach or near your goal, at which time motivation decreases and you backslide. Until the next time you decide you HAVE to change…at which time it actually is harder for both physiological and psychological reasons.
Descending spiral of self-confidence and motivation, and can actually diminish self-love.
On the other hand, what happens if you want to change your body for the sake of LOVE? To live longer, celebrate more, get into a favorite pair of jeans, dazzle them at the reunion, excel at a sport, climb a mountain…?
Then the more you do, the better it feels (needless to say, there are people who get trapped in THIS as well, leading to anorexia or bulimia or steroid/hormone replacement nightmares). And the better it feels, the more of it you'll do. So long as you maintain balance, this is the superior path. But it begins with loving yourself, then loving a vision of yourself, and committing to that vision.
But it starts with love. If you've never experienced the simplicity of just LOVING yourself as much as you'd love a newborn baby or helpless child, it is an experience to work for. If you cannot visualize your child self and play with that happy, creative, loving child…you know EXACTLY what you want to work on with a therapist. It will change EVERYTHING.
The twin motivations of hate and love, fear and joy, pain and pleasure, drive ALL human and animal behavior. Balancing them takes you to the door of non-dualistic emotion, the effective modulation of which is one of the things referred to as "chi" or "ki" or "prana" or "pneuma". A doorway to higher level energetics.
One major secret of the "Soulmate" Program is this quality of genuine self-love. Not ego, not refusing to look at your imperfections or holding others to an impossible standard that you yourself aren't even CLOSE to, but REALLY accepting and loving yourself, knowing you've done the best you could at every moment of your life, and that all there is in this world is wounded, imperfect human beings doing the best they can with the resources they have.
Really love yourself, and extend that love to others, and you will understand the world TOTALLY differently. It is evolutionary and revolutionary. That kind of loving power (and make no mistake: it is POWERFUL. There is no greater force than a mother lion protecting her cubs. That same power can and should be harnessed for your own survival and thriving) is difficult to beat. Maybe impossible, to a person who is simply committed to fighting with honor and dying with dignity. Most attempt to trigger that warrior response with anger. But the healthier way is with love.
That's what we did with the SOULMATE PROCESS. It is what I'm doing with the Incel book. And now, its what I'm doing in this personal "advanced Soulmate" exercise with Tananarive. On the other side of it, I'll be a different, stronger, more loving person.
Can't wait to meet him.
Namaste
Steve
