A SUMMER OF LOVE
A SUMMER OF LOVE
The first three steps of the Blessing Dance are:
Bowing to each other.
Hands over each others' hearts, lock eyes and breathe in unison 10X.
Chant "you are my beloved. I open my heart to you."
The fourth step is another five breaths together, hands still over each others' hearts.
I was looking at some material on the subject of relationships, and one thing that caught my eye was the concept of three levels of relationship:
Each person looking out for themselves.
Transactional: I do for you if you do for me.
Pure giving. You simply give love, without keeping track.
Needless to say, if you just "give" to the wrong person, a "taker" you can run into a deficit. That requires trust in your ability to choose well, and see clearly.
"Don't trust people, Steve. Instead, rely upon them to do what they see as being in their own best interests. Its up to you to determine what that is."
So…in able to give completely, you need to be sure you can live with the results of that. The worse case scenario is that you give to a taker. In that case, you need to be sure you KNOW you can survive this. In fact, you need to have clarity that the experience will make you a better person, NO MATTER HOW THE OTHER PERSON/PEOPLE REACT.
That clarity is about you, and your survival, and your confidence that you can walk the world with both power and vulnerability. NO MATTER WHAT.
Let me think this through a little more explicitly. I'm considering a 90-day "love diet." A "Summer of Love" so to speak. That would mean 90 days of living in a space of love, and giving everything, every day, to Tananarive certainly…but also Jason, and Nicki, and the world in general.
To do this I have to trust MYSELF. To have no concern at all that I might be "taken advantage of." In fact, I can see that living in that space for three months (maybe starting tomorrow!) would be lighting up my Three Gates ('kindness' through the roof!) and Three Centers (Heart center exploding!)
Let me look at this. What is the down side? There is fear. Is this dropping my guard completely? Well…maybe its time for that. My fears from the past are based in real things. But do I or don't I trust myself to be a warrior for my own heart? I DO.
Then…what is the likely result of coming from strength, but fully opening my heart, putting love FIRST?
This would be the perfect moment for it. This would be focused on Tananarive at a moment when we are likely to get hit with massive amounts of career stress. GOOD stress, yes. But still stress. What happens if I wake up in the morning, live all day, and go to bed at night thinking about how to make her feel loved?
It would be powerful. It might even kill my ego, and that is scary AF. Might that REALLY be the thing that scares me from the past?
We create ego shells to protect us, define us, promote our survival, especially under stress and in communication with others. But the problem is that the ego isn't the real "me." There is nothing I can observe that is the "real me" because even the observer isn't the real thing…although it is hella closer than what it is "it" is observing.
So by taking my attention off myself, and totally on Tananarive and my family, giving her all the love in my heart for 90 days, a "Summer of Love" my "real" self has the freedom to emerge, because I'm not watching and defining it and trying to "get mine."
Now…I want to say that she is who she is, giving to a giver just gives HER room to breathe freely…and give in return. This is likely to free us both. There is personal psychological stuff, couples stuff, and social stuff--for instance the multi-generational damage our family lines suffered in America over the centuries.
What happens if we heal all three levels? The personal, the inter-personal, and the social? The historical?
I don't know. But this is what I'm asking myself. And all I need do to find out is be 100% SURE that I can protect and care for myself. Fight with honor, and die with dignity. If I KNOW that--and it cannot be taken from me by ANY outside force, then I can surrender my heart more deeply than I ever have, and just possibly break chains that existed long before I was born.
My heart is called to this challenge. Ninety Days. A Summer of Love.
I'm right on the edge. Knowing myself, I bet I'll go for it. Wow.
Life is a daring adventure…or nothing at all.
Namaste
Steve
