Think. Do. Think. Do. The Secret to Success?
Breathe. Step back. Think, then react. — Author Unknown
“Making a list, checking it twice…” — Santa Claus
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Once upon a time two strangers, Tom and Joe were sitting in a Chicago train station, heading for Los Angeles. On the track just opposite them was a train heading for New York. Seated in a window seat, staring at them, were sisters, the him, were the most beautiful woman they’d ever seen. Their eyes widened with the SHOCK of that impact. They all KNEW. Right down to the core of their being. Soul Mates. Forever love.
And then…the trains pulled out of the station, one heading East, the other West.
Tom and Joe were in shock the entire ride, and when they got to L.A. they walked on the beach in a fugue state, talking about what they were going to do.
Tom stubbed his toe on something buried in the sand. Joe did the same thing. Both extracted pieces of paper.
Tom’s was a winning lottery ticket. With it he got a million dollars, which he used to buy the fastest, sleekest sports car in the world. He jumped in the car, waved good-bye to Joe and drove toward New York. His plan: to drive up and down the streets as long as it took to find the girl of his dreams.
Joe’s piece of paper was very different: it had the cross-streets of the house where lived the girl HE had fallen in love with. He was broke. But started walking, taking odd jobs along the way to finance the trip. It would take many months, but he’d get there.
Which of these two men would you bet on?
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A goal, carefully crafted is like knowing the cross-streets nearest where your dream girl lives. You can have the fastest car, capable of getting you from L.A. to NY in three days, and it could take a lifetime to find a single person in New York City if you don’t have their name and address.
Consider this the plight of the brilliant, educated, born-wealthy but unfocused person. They can zip around looking very cool and impressive in the process, but are they really getting what they need from life?
The other guy might be a hobo. It might take him months to get to that cross-street. But then if he gets a humble job selling tacos from a cart on that corner…and asking everyone he meets if they have seen a girl of that description…it is predictable that within weeks he will find her.
THAT is the analog of the person with modest intelligence, and no external resources…but focus, and persistence, and a clear vision of what they want. Such a person doesn’t even need to know where New York is. He can just ask several people, and if they agree on “East” he heads east, asking directions along the way.
THAT is the power of goals. Clarity of what you want. And what do you want? What is real success? I suggest it is Escape Suffering, Embrace Joy, and being of Service.
And how? “Health, Love, Money, and time to enjoy them” seems to be as wise a set of standards as is easy to convey. Body, Heart, Mind.
And how do we do this ethically? By believing the Three Gates (or some other similar set of strictures) are a beautiful guide for human behavior. Under stress, there will ALWAYS be temptation to Lie, to be Cruel and insulting, or to simply stop looking at the actual results we get…the ONLY way to know if our actions are Useful.
The person who starts life with something like the MAGIC formula, with a few basic strictures for morality and balance added, will (the hypothesis goes) out-perform a BRILLIANT person with no direction, who becomes a “jack of all trades, master of none” who drifts from enthusiasm to enthusiasm. The sort of person who, as I once said about a very bright homeless friend: “he knows everything about everything except anything that would actually make a difference.”
Remember that story about the guy who was searching for his keys where the light was, instead of where he dropped them? Well, this is worse. At least that guy knew he was looking for keys!
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If this is true, then once you are AWARE it is true, the motivations are automatic — every living thing wants to diminish pain and increase pleasure. Those who cannot see the truth of this are blocking their own understanding…something about admitting it would cause them pain.
But IF you have clarity, then all that remains is the “how?” HOW do we move away from pain? What is suffering? What is the difference between pleasure and joy, from the specific philosophical perspective?
The base notions are very simple. But just as telling someone “the secret to getting out of debt is to spend less than you earn” is the truth, it is only USEFUL if the person you say it to believes “I don’t know how to do this…but I can learn.”
And then reads 100 books on the subject, until they understand HOW to do this (and incidentally, I think the best way is NOT to focus on cutting expenses. That hurts, especially for those near the poverty line. Better by far to STABILIZE expenses and focus on INCREASING income. That is SO much more fun! And as everyone wants to move away from pain toward pleasure, it is easier to sustain. There is a very similar truth to the “calories in/out” weight loss thingie, but that’s another conversation.)
HOW do we achieve our goals, once they are set, clarified, and motivated? Aligned with our true being, and the nature of the world, such that striving for them makes us better, happier people even if we get struck by lightning before we get there?
Well, the Check-Do-Check system with your task list is a hell of a guide. And for various reasons, I believe this single thing will allow us to diagnose ALL the remaining issues standing between Jason and the awake, adult, aware human being he is going to be.
Oh yes, he is. I’ve told him that, as my son, he is “doomed to succeed” and I’m willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to deliver him successfully to his adulthood.
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CHECK. Its morning! Wake up, whatever ritual of gratitude and focus. What do you spontaneously remember about the positive results you want today? Did your dreams offer you any answers or suggestions? Now look at your journal, or wherever you keep your task list. Did you remember them? Does it seem complete? Can you identify at least ONE thing in each major category (health/fitness, love, money) to move you forward 1% per week? (If you are a bad-ass, aim at 1% per day!). Visualize your lifetime goal, that house on the mountain, soul-mate, and world-class fitness. Now see how todays most important tasks are a step in that direction. Be sure that your “Morning Ritual” of action, emotion, visualization and focus says that you start your day with a positive focus of action, and clear notions of the most important three things to accomplish.
Spend at least 15 minutes learning new things that relate to health, emotions, or money. An hour would be primo, but only for bad-asses.
DO. Now act. The most important things should be done first, ESPECIALLY if you have the habit of procrastination. Exercise before you eat. Make your plans before you hit social media. Get the most critical things “done by one.” Use a Pomodoro timer to alternate focus and flow, work and rest.
CHECK. Go back over your list, and check off what you did. Hopefully, you accomplished every outcome! (In this sense, “Outcomes” are things like “make 200 dollars today” goals are “make 50 cold calls”. If you make your 200 dollars you DO NOT have to make those last 15 calls! You can quit.)
Did you NOT get things done? Why? Be honest, because this is your “diagnosis” of your position on the map of reality. Look for results that are about “not keeping my word to myself.”
(THIS is why it is so important to love yourself as you would your most precious child. If your infant stumbles and falls when they try to walk, you say “good baby!” laugh and smile and give kisses and project ABSOLUTE FAITH that that baby is going to walk.)
In your journal, write down how you tricked yourself into distraction or avoidance. Simply writing it down, asking “what is true?” and “who am I?” is taking a step in the right direction, as long as you have FAITH in yourself. See why “gratitude” is so important?
If you didn’t do something important, roll it to the next day or week. Some things you didn’t do (like those last 15 calls) you don’t NEED to do at all, and can delete.
Look back at your day, from waking to bed, and know you did all you could with the resources you had…and that you are CONSTANTLY upgrading your resources.
If you can identify a SINGLE problem that remains, and IF you have drained it of any negative emotional charge (no guilt, blame, or shame) then you can ask your unconscious mind to generate an answer as you sleep.
Go to sleep. Wake up tomorrow and start over.
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Understand something: you WILL NOT be able to do this perfectly, especially right off the bat. But as long as you remain consistent, you will learn EXACTLY where the flaws in your armor are. And then can seek information or tools to bridge the gap.
Think. Do. Think. Do….
Learning just one little thing every day. As long as you learn ONE thing every day, and it is a “true” thing (because you can both understand history, deal with the moment, and predict results more accurately with its application. Your “what is true” CANNOT be just thought experiments) you will have taken that step toward New York, and that cross-street from which you can optimistically predict that you WILL find the girl of your dreams.
Best chance. Best odds. That’s all anyone can really offer you.
Fall in love with your future. Get its address. Ask directions from people who’ve been there. Start walking.
Namaste
Steve
www.steven-barnes.com
(By the way, if your problem is “I keep forgetting to look at my list” then create a mechanical system to bridge this gap. A note above your desk. An accountability partner you talk to daily. A coach. A computer program. If this is your problem, WRITE IT ON A POST-IT RIGHT NOW and put it on your computer screen. And if you are too frozen to do that..?
Then you need support from someone who can. And this message it to those who can take that first step: know that there are people you love who are frozen in place. Need your protection, support nd example. Be strong BOTH for yourself…and them)
