The “Child” and Life Itself
Letters like this keep me going. In response to my essay about painful childhood experiences:
Steven,
Extremely well written and profoundly relatable.
From the childhood recognition of racial assumptions to the challenges of being raised in a one parent household. Throughout my years I've often felt somewhat isolated in my efforts to continually strive to not just overcome the voids in my life but also that it oftentimes seemed as if I was the only one aware of the ongoing effect of the absence of them.
Thank you for sharing Steven. You are very much appreciated.
Best,
M.
###
The alignment of all aspects of your being is thought to give access to the full range of mental and physical capacities. There are many maps for this. In the martial arts this is often discussed in relation to "ki" or "chi". Yoga speaks of "prana" but the specific intertwining of the "Chakras" and the male and female energies (Ida and Pingala) is referred to as "awakening the kundalini" and with those who have been blocked or imbalanced, this "awakening" can be terrifying and disorienting.
It would be wise to remember a teaching about this process: "you can awaken your kundalini from the heart out, or the body up, but NEVER from the head down."
Safest to do it from the body up. This is where infants begin: getting some sense of where they are in reality. Touch, taste, smell, sight, hearing. UNLESS YOU WERE BORN IN A SAFE AND NURTURING FAMILY/SOCIAL CONTEXT, you have probably buried pain and anger in your meat-sack, and if you don't process it, there is a chance you will open your heart, but attract predators who can sense you don't have your survival drive on-line. This results in bouncing around between head and heart, and letting your body be "a black bag where you store unprocessed emotions."
Be a child. Respect their process. One of the saddest things in the world is smart people who resist becoming wise. They have ideas about the world, and when the world doesn't match their expectations, why, there's something wrong with the world.
NO. The world is fine. The world is just what it is. YOU are confused because you are too afraid to release your expectations and see "what is." Resentment is the outcome.
Acceptance of life "as it is" doesn't mean losing motivation to affect change. That is the lie your ego tells you. Seeing the territory "as it is" is PHENOMENALLY efficient and effective at reaching your goal. Fantasy is a distraction, a comfortable illusion. Ask not for reality to be what you wish. Ask for the strength to see reality as it is.
This is SURVIVAL stuff. Brothers and sisters, if there is a tiger in the woods, you'd better not deny that truth, or hallucinate that it is a woodchuck. The more clearly you see and understand tigers, the easier it is to co-exist, avoid, or hunt them. The people who wish to deny the humanity of their enemies and opponents do this so that it is easier to destroy them. On the child level…yes. On the adult level…well, this is the task of warriors, to see to the essence of things, find those things in life worth dying for, and committing to protecting them. This means we must understand the tiger, respect the tiger, and understand what motivates and drives it in the way of nature. Only then can we determine the best way to keep our families safe.
The "child" aspect of us wants to taste and touch and embrace the entire world, but also bumps his shins and gets bitten by dogs, hurt by bullies, and cut by glass. FEAR is the natural result.
And this is where the ADULT has to step in. Fear and pain exist to get our attention, and motivate action. But once you have learned the necessary lesson, and are focused, fear might be USEFUL but it is no longer NECESSARY. So the trick to helping the child live with joy and creativity is that
THE ADULT MUST BE PROTECTIVE and committed to protecting the child. This means WORK. Money. Nothing works like money in the arenas in which money works. The failure to function in the adult mind leads to feelings that sales and marketing are "prostitution." That's because you're selling your child's hugs and kisses to strangers, rather than using those hugs and kisses to motivate YOU to strategize and work to create security.
THE ADULT MUST BE LOVING. To nurture that child. Infants who are not loved die from "failure to thrive." Consider this with your 'inner child'--that child is never killed, but can go into a deep coma, or hide far away. I will tell you the story of my own re-connection one day soon.
THE ADULT MUST BE A SCIENTIST and constantly extract meaning from experience. Learn the lesson, and you can release the emotion. (And understand the powerful corollary: if you are trapped by strong emotion, YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED THE LESSON)
I think the "What" and "Why" are pretty clear. But the "how" is critical as well.
Start with the breathing. For a vast number of reasons, but let's just leave it with the notion that you MUST find the internal leverage to spend five minutes a day healing and balancing yourself. If you aren't…it is dishonest to blame "the world" for your lack of security. Shit, people…it takes you five minutes to read THIS. Who do you think you are kidding? Set your smartphone for an hourly alarm, and get into the breathing game.
Create a 10-20 minute morning ritual, committed to balancing the Three Centers, and respecting the Three Gates by an additional 1% per week. Use the MAGIC formula to chant aloud your intentions and visualize role models WHILE IN MOTION.
Now. If you can do these two things, all you have to do is "tweak."
Breathe and focus on heartbeat
Breath and focus on "inner child"
Anahata Meditation, "Heartbeat Meditation" is the simplest powerful form of inner work. Make no mistake: not all effective meditations are safe. This one is. Simply sit quietly and take your pulse until you feel your heartbeat. Then get quiet and "soft" enough to feel your heartbeat without specifically touching your wrist or neck.
Do this for 15-20 minutes. While there are powerful effects that come from centering for even a moment, something special kicks in at the 15-20 minute level, perhaps similar to the "neuro immuno indocrine response" of "second wind" that typically kicks in at the 12-15 minute aerobic level.
Its possible, some kind of synchronization of brainwaves, perhaps. But there is a very real sense that all ANY of us EVER want is to feel safe and loved. You can give this to yourself.
And we need to ask if the following is true: Would improving the joyful, healthy integrity of your child-adult balance by 1% per week improve your fitness and health? Your relationships? Your career? Why or why not?
###
Steven Barnes is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: FIREDANCE
Time: SATURDAY Oct 21, 2023 12:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)
Every week on Sat, until Dec 30, 2023, 11 occurrence(s)
Oct 21, 2023 12:00 PM
Oct 28, 2023 12:00 PM
Nov 4, 2023 12:00 PM
Nov 11, 2023 12:00 PM
Nov 18, 2023 12:00 PM
Nov 25, 2023 12:00 PM
Dec 2, 2023 12:00 PM
Dec 9, 2023 12:00 PM
Dec 16, 2023 12:00 PM
Dec 23, 2023 12:00 PM
Dec 30, 2023 12:00 PM
Please download and import the following iCalendar (.ics) files to your calendar system.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81690458985?pwd=ek90MGlhUWh5MHRQYngyRHBFZlU5dz09
Meeting ID: 816 9045 8985
Passcode: 138734
---
One tap mobile
+16699009128,,81690458985#,,,,*138734# US (San Jose)
+16694449171,,81690458985#,,,,*138734# US
---
Dial by your location
• +1 669 900 9128 US (San Jose)
• +1 669 444 9171 US
• +1 719 359 4580 US
• +1 253 205 0468 US
• +1 253 215 8782 US (Tacoma)
• +1 346 248 7799 US (Houston)
• +1 646 558 8656 US (New York)
• +1 646 931 3860 US
• +1 689 278 1000 US
• +1 301 715 8592 US (Washington DC)
• +1 305 224 1968 US
• +1 309 205 3325 US
• +1 312 626 6799 US (Chicago)
• +1 360 209 5623 US
• +1 386 347 5053 US
• +1 507 473 4847 US
• +1 564 217 2000 US
Meeting ID: 816 9045 8985
Passcode: 138734
Find your local number: https://us02web.zoom.us/u/kbCltJ8SvD
