Can We Succeed Without Gratitude?
Can We Succeed Without Gratitude?
I was interested in the number of people who think Gratitude has nothing to do with Wealth (generally with no specific definitions of the threshold of "wealth". The best answer was probably "tens of millions.")
Needless to say, they are walking a different path, and I wish them well. The problem is that wealth can be defined in many ways, INCLUDING but not confined to money. How much? Certainly enough that the interest off that money could create a gracious lifestyle without looking at the prices on the menus. But for me, "wealth" needs to exist in the other arenas as well--energetic abundance, and love/connection abundance.
But no matter how one defines it, I'm prepared to defend the MAGIC Formula. Remember that? "Map/Model" X "Action" X "Gratitude" X "Intention" X "Conviction" = "Results."
It is a formula for success, in any field. Are there other strategies? I have no doubt. And if you offer one, I'll ask for your results using it, just as if you think you have a better map, or a better route to a destination, I will ask you about your previous journeys and current location. I think that fair.
Let's say you want career success. This is just "hunting and gathering" abstracted into dollars. My position is clear: ANYTHING anyone else has ever accomplished starting from where I started, I can do too. If I cannot find anyone who has accomplished my goals, I'll go with the notion that "there is always someone who started with less, who created more." So I'll generalize, or split the goal into component parts and look for the common attitudes and actions of people who succeeded. Can't find a black SF writer? Then model successful black artists in general, and SF writers in particular. Where do their behaviors, attitudes and strategies overlap?
But specifically, then: If my goal was to double my income, how would the MAGIC formula affect that?
So MAP or MODEL: It was clear to me that the writers who were more successful than me, and the people who made more money than me, did different things. But in general, they wrote more, read more, knew their fan base better and had figured out a marketing approach that helped them find and communicate to that audience. From a pure marketing POV they had a "Unique Selling Proposition", knew the "Avatar" representing their ideal reader, and knew the "Media" through which they could reach those people: SF magazine and conventions, largely.
So I had to be a better writer, have a more distinct voice, and find ways to become known in the field. Some of my knowledge of these things came from studying writers, but as you know, I studied two of them up REAL close. Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Was that "luck"? Depends on your definitions. I asked MANY different writers to help me, and had evolved a specific strategy to catch their attention, prove my sincerity, and be prepared for rejection after rejection. I played a numbers game, and was prepared to rush through ANY door that opened.
ACTION. Daily action was reading, writing, putting myself out there to find a mentor, STUDYING communication, dealing with fear, doing constant market research and constantly maintaining forward pressure: 1% weekly increase, at any cost.
GRATITUDE. Well, here it is, isn't it? If I don't have GRATITUDE for past successes in my life, even in other aspects, why should I believe things can improve in the future? How do I pick myself up from the thousand "no" answers I had to be prepared to hear from editors and potential mentors? I'd never survive. THE ANTIDOTE FOR FEAR AND ANGER IS GRATITUDE. Everything I did in terms of studying success was finding a way of compensating for no financial resources, being raised by a single mother, and being Black in America. That was a BIG hole I was standing in. I would have to go through more than anyone I knew to get out of it. That might take DECADES of work, being told all the way that I couldn’t make it, and knowing that when I DID make it, people would tell me there had never been any barriers in the first place, try to use my success to claim there were no disadvantages, implying that its just genetic, and hey, you're mighty light skinned, Steve, that white blood sure rose to the surface….
It was going to take a LOT of gratitude, love, faith, to compensate for the daily rain of bullshit. And I'd need a sense of humor and perspective to get through it and realize people would try to act as if I'd had ADVANTAGES. Wow. But…that's THEIR insecurity, and I know that if they said that…it just meant they could never have survived my life.
INTENTIONS are goals. Clear, powerful, motivating, transformational goals. And while there was no one who had ever accomplished my intents who came from my position, by modeling general success principles I was able to find a "critical path" that all successful people seemed to follow. And a set of SMART (Specific, Meaningful, As-If-Now, Realistic, Time-Bound) goals that taught me everything I needed to know, because I failed over and over and over. But I learned every time. How in the HELL did I keep getting up after being knocked down? Well, studying those successes, it was obvious that massive emotional endurance was an essential tool. Or…
CONVICTION. CONFIDENCE. COURAGE. I would need to BELIEVE that my efforts would bring more pleasure than pain into my life. Why? Because NO ONE will take actions if they believe those actions will create more pain than pleasure, according to their values and perceptions. I would need to do this. Beliefs that helped here were things like "God would not give me a dream I can hold continuously in my heart over time without the spark of the fire that would enable me to accomplish it." Or "I can learn to do anything I need to accomplish" of "I must die at the end of life. There is no goal worth my life, and therefore there is NO DREAM I don't deserve to strive for."
If you look at this: Map X Action X Gratitude X Intention X Conviction = Results you know my secret weapon. MAGIC is one of the most important pieces in my puzzle, and it is a multiplicative as opposed to additive equation. If you are missing ANY of these, you're screwed. You need at least a "one" in each category
At least a vague idea of the direction of your goal, one you are constantly updating.
Taking at least a little daily action ("a sentence a day")
Feeling a little gratitude for your life
Having at least a general goal, touching on the basic elements of a well-formed intent
And enough courage and confidence to keep going through the inevitable "dark nights", betrayals, rejections, and failures. INEVITABLE.
Got that? Now, I had the formula for being a successful writer. What I DIDN'T have was the formula for increasing wealth. THAT reflects a wound in my parenting: if you did not grow up in a happy home with money, you probably have a negative attitude about it. I mean this very seriously. A HAPPY HOME with money. I did not. And that led to a lot of foolishness, including an unrealistic expectation that success would continue to increase from year to year, such that I was the grasshopper rather than the ant. For the record, THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON has the best, simplest explanation of this I've ever seen.
Anyway…the number of people who thought "gratitude" had nothing to do with "wealth" was predictable. This is my answer. Many will disagree, and that is of course fine. But I'm willing to take the risk of criticism for explaining my path clearly. That's fine. Words don't hurt…and I KNOW that there is someone reading this who will be benefitted by my being as honest as possible. It is that person I speak to. And THAT person, if they are willing to BREATHE DIAPHRAGMATICALLY for sixty seconds an hour, I will answer any questions they have.
If you AREN'T willing to do that, you are far less likely to understand what I'm saying here. Ego fear is likely to be fierce.
Breathe. Turn that fear into energy.
You got this.
Namaste
Steve
##
Steven Barnes is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: Firedance...The Next Level
Time: Jun 10, 2023 12:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84839490050?pwd=aHN3NWlIUno2VEZ6d0dqeFNvaUZLQT09
Meeting ID: 848 3949 0050
Passcode: 951502
